blogger, my friend

I want to blog, but not really. There's so much that needs to be said but somehow I can't say it. Maybe if I just get typing it'll come. I love blogging... I'm starting to realise this even more. It's like a friend you can ring up crying to in the middle of the night. It understands all your problems and best of all, it doesn't judge. It just calmly listens until you have finished spilling your tale.

I have always had a deep connection with words. Not so much the words that are read on the page but the act of writing the words. It has always helped me to write down just exactly how I feel about someone or a situation I have felt strong emotions in. If I am truly honest with myself when I'm writing, it often becomes so clear what I have to change to make that situation better, to be able to resolve anger, sadness, disappointment, love and everything else in between.

I just don't know what to write because my whole being is so full of conflicting emotions & feelings. Most of all I think that the word is discontent. I am discontented with my health and fitness and consequently, my body. I am discontented with my relationship status. I know that I have matured so much in being able to deal with adult relationships on so many levels, yet it's an untested maturity. I need the chance to grow in all areas of my life. Who will give me this chance? I have a feeling that it won't be by chance or coincidence. I've got to give God credit where it's due. To leave you with the words of Bobby Darin...

"You fly down the street on a chance that you'll meet.
And you'll meet, not by chance."