Wanting to be thin is making me fat

The title pretty much sums it up for today. Well not just for today but probably for the last two years, actually. It's a vicious cycle, I eat junk food because I'm sad about not having someone special in my life. I haven't got a boyfriend because I'm fat and me eating fatty foods because I'm depressed about not having a boyfriend makes me even larger and less desirable. I hate it. How to break the cycle? Start exercising to release happy endorphins and feel better about myself. Because I feel better about myself I eat well so that the exercise is not pointless. Body starts looking better because of healthy eating and exercise and confidence abounds. No more sadness, no more depression and no more desperado vibes. Happy, confident and thin girl. Those are the ones that are never single. It seems so simple put out like that. It probably is so simple once the habits are formed (or rather the bad ones broken.)

Time for a change I think, I've had it too easy for too long. Time to start crossing all my goals off as I reach them. I hate it when you set a goal and don't reach it. The reality is that I won't reach all the goals I set in the time I set them. That's why it is imperative that I continue to reset my aspirations again and again. Sometimes I just get so down that I haven't stretched to reach a goal. I think that's where I have lost faith. Lost confidence in myself because of my ability thus far to reach personal goals such as weight and a particular body shape. This is especially true if your failure is emphasised or echoed in others' opinions of you.

I'm going to tack on another list to my 22 things list. It's going to be my body list. I need to look after my body, feed it veggies because ultimately my tastebuds are only a very small part of a larger story. Time to make choices that benefit the whole body. Active decisions.