jealous?

I don't think that I've been jealous before now, that's probably why it was hard for me to identify it at first. I guess I've never really cared that much about any one thing or anyone. It's such a bizarre feeling almost like you want to be in someone else's shoes. I can't even relate to that because I've always been so comfortable and happy just being who I am, where I am. This is not to say that I haven't had times when I wished it could have turned out differently, but never anything where I've felt like this. I don't know even how to describe it.

I guess it's almost like a loss of confidence. I don't like the sound of that at all. I guess it must be true because if you were entirely sure of yourself, then there would be no reason to doubt yourself or others. There would be no need for a possessiveness or a claim of ownership if you were entirely confident. (Can you tell I've been looking up definitions on dictionary.com?)

I feel better for identifying this thing because at least now I can deal with it and it's not an issue at all. It's much better to know now that I am capable of such feelings, rather than later when it would be a huge deal; something actually hard to get over.